qtgirl

I’m reading this great book about changing your habits and losing weight. It talks about how many of us have habits or vices that keep us overweight (and that got us here in the first place).

The top 3:

1) Too much soda. Some people have literally dropped like 40 lbs, just be cutting soda and other sugary drinks from their diet. I only drink water and herbal tea, so this does not apply to me.

2) Too much fast food: Again, imagine if you JUST cut fast food out of your diet, would that have an impact??? I bet it would.

3) Watching too much TV! A bit of a weird one, but the average person watches at least 4 hours of TV a day. (BUT we never have time to exercise!!!) So, either exercise in front of the TV (I do this a lot) or turn it OFF and go for a walk, etc. Can you cut you hours down to 2 hours a day. What will you do with that extra 2 hours?

And finally. Some of us are not any of these top 3. I don’t feel I have 1 glaring vice (like chocolate, chips, ice cream, etc). I more have categories. I choose ‘carby things’ most often. I’ll take crackers or bread over fruit and veggies. AND, could it be this easy? The author suggests, just replace your MAIN non-healthy habit with a good habit. So, get rid of the crackers and bread and eat fruit/veggies instead. Obviously, I need some bread/carbs, but I need to start limiting it and getting the FRUIT/VEG first, carbs second, not the other way around.

Well, I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m also thinking about BUSTING sugar. Not a major problem, but, it’s there!!

What is your BIGGEST vice??? Have you beaten it yet??? Do you think it would help if you did???

The book is called “the vice busting diet” by the way, I got if from the library!!

Well, I just put an offer in on an offer on a house, which was exciting and stressful at the same time. I’ve barely eaten for days since this whole thing started…no appetite. Works better than any appetite suppressant on the market I’m sure. The deal has not gone so well because by the looks of it the house was beyond our level to afford (it is beautiful) and our agent did not put ‘financing’ as a clause for getting out of it. We saw a lawyer and I’m pretty sure we are out of the deal. Whew! Just 24 hours ago, I could have had to afford a house without a mortgage (that would have been interesting to say the least!)

I’m the only person who is thrilled to have NOT been able to buy the house they really wanted!!

The good news is, I’ve lost 3 lbs!! I know it’s not the healthy way, but it’s nice to have an upside when you life is in the toilet!!

I feel like I need another first step. I’ve been doing this weight loss thing since December and the last month or so I lost my MO-JO! I’m kind of half on, half off. I eat pretty good, exercise and then have this not so good “treats” or evening meals.

And then, the next day I ’start again’. Only problem is, I’m not doing as good as I was. I’m doing a lot of good, and I want to recognize that, but I want to do better.

I was on the ‘abs diet’ for a bit, which is actually a pretty good diet, the food is healthy and the exercise plan is sound. But the diet is not designed great and there are not good guidelines for making it work for you.

So! Here are my thoughts of where to go next!

1) Weight watchers: I know that accountability would be helpful and I know it works for a lot of people. So, I’m considering it.
2) Create a plan for me. Try to sit down, and create days with “healthy meals” that I like, tailored with calories to meet my weight loss needs.
3) Just count calories: I was doing this for awhile and it was working. But sometimes, if it fit in my calories, I was having things like chocolate or what not that were not too healthy!
4) See a nutritionist. I think I can see one for free through my work plan.

Any thoughts, feedback? Anyone on here who’s gone the distance and been where I am? I do still want to lose the weight, but not crazy like I used to? Humm….

Well, yep, I’m on the roller coaster of emotions right now, and right now just finished riding that train DOWN!!

I feel so lost, and not just with my diet, but with my life.

Maybe I dream too much, maybe I have too much ambition, or ambition for the wrong things (like retiring early!)
I keep wanting to train for jobs, but I don’t want to do any of them, I find work so dreadfully boring after just a few weeks in any new job, and I’ve had some of the best jobs in the world (like cruise ships).

And I know I sound like a baby right now, and maybe I just need to ’suck it up’, but it’s not my fault I was raised in this annoying generation told that I could find “fulfilling work” or “work I would love’ and I’m left searching for that and just find it so hard to accept that the only “real” option is another 30 years of ‘drudgery’ so that I can what, pay the bills, have a house, etc? Is this IT??? Oh boy, I can’t wait for the collection of tiny “glimmers” of joy that might intersperse my otherwise dreary existence. Yeah!

And then, when I get like this, when I feel like “what’s the point”, when I look for new jobs, or new training and see that to do something I prefer I’ll need to drop my salary IN HALF!!! or even more, well, it’s depressing and the food goes out the window.

So, yeah, I guess I am having a pity party and I’m not sure what the rest of you might say to this? I guess it’s hard to try and invest in a future that you just don’t see. It’s hard to push yourself, eat that “lovely” spinach (when you want the fucking chocolate), when you just don’t even have the motivation to WANT to be anything. When you just don’t GET how people get out of bed everyday and go to work and somehow convince themselves that they are feeling happy! Or, what it the chemical change or personal growth that I need to do to no longer HATE my job and just be happy. Is it really just being positive? I try to work on that, I do, and I know it’s some elusive secret that some people just magically have, and they can fall in a pool of shit (literally, I read this once) and just laugh.

Okay. I’m done. Sorry, thanks for listening I guess. Hope I have not offended, or worse, dragged any of you down with my wee rant!

I’m proud of my work this week.  I’m back on track. I worked out (hard) almost every day and I’ve been really good with my eating.  I’m down 3 lbs and feeling good.

So, for those of you struggling, just keep trying.  It took me about 3 weeks to really get back on track but now that I’m here I’m feeling good again!

What matters most, is that we just keep trying!!! 

WE ARE ALL GOING TO SUCCEED!!!

Have a great weekend buddies!

So, today I went shopping (again)! Summer clothes are truly my forte.

Anyways, I got the most adorable little black and pink dress in a size 12! I got the size 14 at lunch and then went back after work and tried on the 12. It fit perfectly (and the top bit is a little lose….bye bye boobies!!!)

But I was thrilled! And I tired a lot of other 12s on and they fit too!!

I’m on the way!!!! Yeah for me!!!

Losing weight sucks! I think I’ve said that before. I’d rather do a Ph.d. EASY! I’d rather build a house from scratch (I’m sure I could figure it out). What’s annoying is it SEEMS so easy, but it is so incredibly hard. Sometimes it feels it’s like asking a penguin to fly.

Funny, I sound so discouraged, but I’m not even having that hard of a time.

I had my final weigh in tonight with a diet group I joined in December. When I started there I was 189. Now I’m 178.4 (with clothes on, evening, their scale).

5 months to lose 11 lbs. I know, I should be happy with that, but I have worked so hard. Sure, I’ve made mistakes (tons even). But I’ve also done a ton of amazing things. I just wish you could get a bit more payback from this dieting thing. It seems like you have to put 150% in EVERY DAY just to get somewhere. People tell you not to be a perfectionist, but it feels like you have to be sometimes.

I feel like I need to be superhuman to achieve this. And then some days, it makes sense and seems easy!

I know I’m just moaning, but honestly. It’s NOT easy. And anyone who has not had this struggle CANNOT understand.

As my friend says, it’s like telling an alcoholic to never get drunk again, but they have to do one shot of booze every day. We have to keep eating, we can’t go cold turkey. And we need to eat some MAGICAL amount. Not too little, not too much, PERFECT!!!!

Agggggrrrrrrhhhhh!!!!!!

Okay, done my rant. It’s so funny because I just encouraged about 50 people tonight. Why do I feel so discouraged myself!

Well, I am finally paying the price for falling off the wagon. I thought I had squeaked by without much of a gain, but I was wrong!

So, I was at 176.4 this morning….boo! I had once been 171. Disappointed, yes. But I did not break down surprisingly. I feel a bit discouraged because every pound is SO MUCH WORK. But, I just have to do those ones over. I will NOT give up on this.

Here we go again!

Today I went for a 1.5 hr walk with my hubby. There was this glorious ice cream shop. I said, “you want to share one?” Him “sure”. We go in, have a look. I say, “nah, let’s not”! YES….willpower wins!

I came home and had my protein shake instead.

Here’s to a good tomorrow.

Well, for awhile I didn’t think that I had fallen off the wagon, as I was clinging to it and being dragged along, but now I’m defiantly off!

Until today. After all the hectic weeks, I’m back. My partner and I were going to go away for a holiday, and have decided not to so that I can get back on track (well, we have a few other reasons) but this is a big part of it!!! Nuts, I know, trade in a 5 star hotel for a DIET!

But, here we go. This morning is a fresh start, today is a new day. Today will be “perfect” because I know it can be. I will eat right, I will workout and I will begin again! Day 1, again, and then on through this week. That’s why we’re not going on holiday, I don’t want any more excuses to not start TODAY!!!

So, I’m back buddies. I briefly considered joining another on-line diet community because I feel like such a black sheep! But here I am!!! I’m going to do great!

AND, another important decision. I turned down work (which is hard!). But some of you know how much college teaching was killing me. They offered me another NEW course, not in my field. It would have been so much work and stress, so I said NO! (There are rumours that is you turn down work you won’t be offered anymore but I don’t care!!!). So, I have no teaching (except for on-line) this summer! Yes!!! And that makes less excuses for not doing what I have to do!!!

Here’s to a great day one!!!!

Well the past few weeks have been INSANE! I teach at a college and had so much work and marking to do, and tests to write and blah, blah, blah. Work, work, work. I would work on the way to work (marking on the subway). It was nuts.

So, to a degree my healthy lifestyle went out the window. Not 100%, but enough. Let’s say..40%.

I only got one REAL workout in (weight training) and a few one hour walks here and there.

I ate somewhat well, but had lots of goof ups (emotional eating at times…chocolate hey) or just not being prepared and eating lunch out.

And, when I feel down or overwhelmed, a dinner out makes me feel good…like I’m doing something!

So, that is my two weeks. Could I have handled it better (sure, but I’m not perfect yet). Could I have done worse? Sure, but I did a lot of good things (like bringing cut up veggies to work). And that one workout is something!

So, my world is finally slowing down. It’s spinning a bit, but a lot less than it was. THANK GOD!

And now I’m going to get back on track.

So to all my buddies. Sorry I’ve not been around, I did miss you all, and I missed being here. But I just had literally NO TIME to spare. (sleeping and showering became luxuries).

So Here’s to life back on track!!!!