qtgirl

Losing weight sucks! I think I’ve said that before. I’d rather do a Ph.d. EASY! I’d rather build a house from scratch (I’m sure I could figure it out). What’s annoying is it SEEMS so easy, but it is so incredibly hard. Sometimes it feels it’s like asking a penguin to fly.

Funny, I sound so discouraged, but I’m not even having that hard of a time.

I had my final weigh in tonight with a diet group I joined in December. When I started there I was 189. Now I’m 178.4 (with clothes on, evening, their scale).

5 months to lose 11 lbs. I know, I should be happy with that, but I have worked so hard. Sure, I’ve made mistakes (tons even). But I’ve also done a ton of amazing things. I just wish you could get a bit more payback from this dieting thing. It seems like you have to put 150% in EVERY DAY just to get somewhere. People tell you not to be a perfectionist, but it feels like you have to be sometimes.

I feel like I need to be superhuman to achieve this. And then some days, it makes sense and seems easy!

I know I’m just moaning, but honestly. It’s NOT easy. And anyone who has not had this struggle CANNOT understand.

As my friend says, it’s like telling an alcoholic to never get drunk again, but they have to do one shot of booze every day. We have to keep eating, we can’t go cold turkey. And we need to eat some MAGICAL amount. Not too little, not too much, PERFECT!!!!

Agggggrrrrrrhhhhh!!!!!!

Okay, done my rant. It’s so funny because I just encouraged about 50 people tonight. Why do I feel so discouraged myself!

Well, I am finally paying the price for falling off the wagon. I thought I had squeaked by without much of a gain, but I was wrong!

So, I was at 176.4 this morning….boo! I had once been 171. Disappointed, yes. But I did not break down surprisingly. I feel a bit discouraged because every pound is SO MUCH WORK. But, I just have to do those ones over. I will NOT give up on this.

Here we go again!

Today I went for a 1.5 hr walk with my hubby. There was this glorious ice cream shop. I said, “you want to share one?” Him “sure”. We go in, have a look. I say, “nah, let’s not”! YES….willpower wins!

I came home and had my protein shake instead.

Here’s to a good tomorrow.

Well, for awhile I didn’t think that I had fallen off the wagon, as I was clinging to it and being dragged along, but now I’m defiantly off!

Until today. After all the hectic weeks, I’m back. My partner and I were going to go away for a holiday, and have decided not to so that I can get back on track (well, we have a few other reasons) but this is a big part of it!!! Nuts, I know, trade in a 5 star hotel for a DIET!

But, here we go. This morning is a fresh start, today is a new day. Today will be “perfect” because I know it can be. I will eat right, I will workout and I will begin again! Day 1, again, and then on through this week. That’s why we’re not going on holiday, I don’t want any more excuses to not start TODAY!!!

So, I’m back buddies. I briefly considered joining another on-line diet community because I feel like such a black sheep! But here I am!!! I’m going to do great!

AND, another important decision. I turned down work (which is hard!). But some of you know how much college teaching was killing me. They offered me another NEW course, not in my field. It would have been so much work and stress, so I said NO! (There are rumours that is you turn down work you won’t be offered anymore but I don’t care!!!). So, I have no teaching (except for on-line) this summer! Yes!!! And that makes less excuses for not doing what I have to do!!!

Here’s to a great day one!!!!